Who You Are Without Me
by breyton4life
Summary: Years after losing her way once before, will Peyton find her True Love Always in someone she never thought she needed so much? Like Brooke said..."people who are meant to be together always find their way in the end"... - Breyton in time


**DISCLAIMER: We/I own nothing.**

Hola everyone. Ok so technically this is my third fic, but really my first one since I did this one before any of my others. But I didn't do this alone, Brittany (shawn-n-belle) had this idea for the fic, and I timidly asked if we could do a fic together, and I am honored to say that she said yes. She is an amazing writer, and her current fic is Don't Let Me Go, which inspired me to write my first few Breyton pieces. Anyway, we came up with this first chapter, and I truly hope you all like it.

**Summary:**_ Having the life she thought she wanted, Peyton Sawyer was trying to find her way. She had Sawyer & Lucas, but something was missing. Things weren't like they used to be. Years after high school, she never would have thought she'd lose her way again. With the one person who could always heal her heart thousands of miles away, will Peyton find her True Love Always in someone she never thought she needed so much? Like Brooke said...people who are meant to be together, always find their way in the end._

_Takes place about a year after her & Lucas left Tree Hill._

Thoughts are in '_italics'_

Memories are in "_italics" _with quotes around them. I'm sure you'll be able to tell :)

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Teenagers, parents, couples, the homeless…all could be found out and about in the streets of the magical city of L.A. Los Angeles was always known as the lively place where anything could be done, from clubbing, to open mic nights, concerts to shopping, and watching musicals to ball games. But this particular night, the town had echoed the spirit of Peyton Sawyer-Scott. Her mind was confused and unsure. Her heart conflicted for reasons she still didn't understand and possibly never would.

To every one but herself, Peyton was happy, content and loved. Being a mother to a beautiful baby girl, and married to the love of her life should be enough to make her smile for the rest of her lifetime, but she just couldn't. It's not that Peyton didn't want to tell someone what was going on with her; she just didn't know what it was herself.

"_P. Sawyer-Scott, you have to be joking. You aren't really leaving tonight…right?" Brooke asked with tear filled eyes._

She could remember that day like it was just yesterday, when in fact, it was almost a year ago. It was so vivid that she could replay it in her mind, and it broke her heart. Brooke Davis was her best friend. Her confidante. Her Brooke.

"_No honey, I'm not joking. I'm so sorry I'm leaving you when Sam isn't here, but Luke and I want to raise Sawyer where there's no baggage hanging over a town. Where there aren't any Dan Scott's to see, or pretend brothers who turn out to be Psycho Stalkers." Peyton sighed while putting her hands on Brooke's shoulders, hoping to get her to understand._

"_B. Davis, I love you, you know that. Just because I'll be somewhere else, doesn't mean I won't be here for you. I told you once before that I wasn't going anywhere. Ever. And I'm going to stick to that. I just won't be in the same town"_

As of late, Peyton had been thinking about her best friend more than she had when she first left. They had kept in touch every day after the Scott's departure, but now, they barely talked. Once a month was what it had come down to, if even their schedules allowed that. Of course, Brooke had been with Julian and dealing with the company, but she missed her bubbly brunette and wished they could just hang out like old times. She was blessed to have Sawyer and Lucas in her life, and never once was she going to take that moment for granted, but sometimes, she wished that she could worry a little less about the two of them and a little more about the infamous brunette that was miles away from her.

"_Damn right you're gonna stick to that P. Sawyer, or I'll kick your bony ass all the way back here to Tree Hill." Brooke chimed in after holding back the true tears she wanted to spill._

"_Just promise me we'll keep in touch Goldilocks. I'd actually like to hear how my Goddaughter is doing while growing up." Peyton just rolled her eyes at the Davis dimpled smile she received._

"_Of course B. Davis. Always."_

She remembered giving Brooke a hug and having it last longer then any of the other ones they had shared over the years, it was also, much different than all the rest. It was more loving, kind and yet bittersweet, as the silent tears created broken lines down both of their faces. The brunette knew her better than anyone, and almost all of the time, better than Lucas. Peyton knew that the embrace would be the last one she would share with Brooke until the next time they saw each other, not knowing when that would be. When the newly named Scott clan had left their hometown later that night, everything was like a blur. Lucas had started a new book, Peyton stayed at home with Sawyer and managed Red Bedroom Records over the phone and online, Brooke became swamped with more store openings of C over B, and the other Scott's were busy with the life of a Charlotte Bobcat. Truly things were much different now than ever before.

At one point, Brooke was going to visit the Sawyer-Scott home, but something came up and ended up having to postpone her trip for a week. That week became two, and two became three and so on. Peyton was dying to see her best friend, and opted to at least call her to catch up a bit, but her cell was always busy, or the voicemail box was full. She knew eventually they would grow apart a bit after the big move, but it didn't hit her full force until the night before when Peyton's birthday had passed and there was no call from Brooke.

The blonde had just got off the phone with Lucas and heard that his book tour was going great. He'd be home in about two weeks and wished her and Sawyer could experience it with him. Luke had become concerned when Peyton didn't share her enthusiasm with him about joining the tour, but shrugged it off nonchalantly as just being tired. He let it go and would call her tomorrow. Unlike Brooke, Lucas would never push her to be completely honest with him.

She hung up the phone and just sat watching her daughter sleep. Sawyer was so innocent. No care in the world, didn't know how crazy life was, or how complicated things could be. '_This is all starting to feel vaguely familiar,' _Peyton thought while sitting in the window sill. She remembered the last time she sat in one just two years ago under similar circumstances. '_How did things get like this? Moving was supposed to be a good thing' _she thought to herself.

They say that on any rainy night, the sound of the 'pitter-pattering' can help you think through anything. Staring out the window, and into the gloomy LA nightlife, Peyton thought back to the day when she and Brooke had first decided to move back to Tree Hill.

"_Are you happy Brooke?"_

"_Sometimes…not always, are you?"_

"_No…"_

"_Okay, then let me ask you something…what IS gonna make you happy Peyton? Is it how you look, or the car you drive, or the people you know? Is it money, or celebrity, or power or accomplishments, because I have all those things and…I don't think it's enough."_

"_Well then what is?"_

"_Love I think. And that love can be for a boy, or a girl, or a place, or a way of life, or even for a family, but where you find that love is up to you."_

Peyton had missed the way things used to be: Cheer competitions, basketball games, benefit concerts, even dare nights.

With her knees pulled up to her chest, and head rested against the window frame, Peyton wished things were different, but just didn't know in what way exactly. She knew that Lucas was worried about her, and would try to figure it out, but she wanted to figure it out for herself. '_I need to talk to Brooke. She'll be able to help me figure all this non-sense out.'_

As if her phone had psychic powers, it started ringing with a tone that the blonde hadn't heard in a few weeks. Immediately, she knew it was Brooke, and relaxed knowing that everything would be okay.

"You don't know how good it is to hear your voice B. Davis," Peyton sighed into the phone with the ghost of a smile on her face after picking up.

"Well of course it is Blondie," the raspy-voiced brunette said on the other end, "I _do_ have a sexy voice to begin with." Peyton could almost _feel_ Brooke smirk after hearing that and just shook her head.

"Whatever you say, Davis. I'm just really glad you called. I've just been-"

"Worrying? Sitting by the window trying to figure out what the hell is going on and why nothing is like it used to be?" Peyton was shocked to hear her own thoughts being said out loud, pretty much word for word, sometimes it was like Brooke just lived inside of her head.

"Brooke…how did you-"

"Know? Because I know you, P. Sawyer. When something's wrong, I always know. I can just feel it. I've been feeling the same way…and this has happened once before, remember? Just thought I'd save you the trouble and call you myself."

It doesn't take long before the two became wrapped up in a wity conversation about their lives since their last phone call. Each telling the other about something good or bad that has happened, pausing while the other offered her best advice of support and then making some corny joke about how life was easier when they were teenagers. Brooke mentioned about how she and Julian were seperated for the time being once he accused her of spending more time in the company than with him, she told her about the magical visit that Victoria paid her a few weeks ago, to which Peyton mentioned her own personal dislike for the woman.

_A bitch is always a bitch, right?_

Brooke couldn't help but agree with her, given the past that was shared between the controlling mother and the young woman. Peyton listened to her as she explained the new clothing line that Clothes over Bro's has designed, something about work out wear, and whilst, she was not the most gym crazed woman, she knew that she would go, simply so that she could wear the free designs her best friend gave her. It doesn't take long before she has mentioned Lucas' book tour and how she wishes that he was around more for Sawyer because he was missing so much. But Brooke could only dispute her statement.

_Well, Peyt, he hasn't exactly __**had**__ the best examples of a father figure growing up, you know? Dan was always absent in his life and Keith was shot when he was seventeen. At least, you know he wants to be there for Sawyer, but he thinks that this book tour is the best thing for her. She can have every opportunity she wants growing up. And besides, it's not like she's actually going to remember that Daddy wasn't there on Tuesday at 3:00 pm. He is coming back for her, and that is more than our parents ever did. _

Peyton knows that she is right, but she still couldn't help but feel abandoned by her husband's absence. Their conversation quickly turns to Nathan and Haley, they make a quip about how they were the perfect family and who would have thought they would actually stay together. Sounds of sniffles and laughs quickly fill the air between the two of them as the distance seems to slowly disappear and it is like they are just seperated by three houses, just like all those years ago. Suddenly, caught up in a conversation about Mia's new album, Peyton could not help but feel very much of seventeen again, wondering when her best friend is going to burst through the door and crash on her bed with a smirk pressed upon her lips and mention something about her father being sexy in his robe. She was _happy_, for the first time in months, even if Brooke was million miles away from her tonight. She finally felt like she had her best friend back, she felt like everything was finally _normal_ again, and she was amazed that all she needed was to hear that infamous husky voice to return her life back to normalcy. Yet, she would never let the brunette have the satisfactory of knowing exactly what she was doing to her, because she knew, that she would never be able to live that down. She could just hear her now, cooing over the fact that she _needed_ her.

_**Thump - Thump - Thump**_

'_What the hell, who could that be at 11:45 at night?' _Peyton asked herself as she headed downstairs towards the door, careful with each step, only hoping that Sawyer would not be awakended by her vistor.

"Hey Brooke, hang on a sec, apparently someone's at my door."

"At your door? Peyt, you better not have some booty calling man whore waiting for you out there. I mean I know Broody is away, but come on, my Goddaughter is in the next room."

"Very funny B. Davis. Alright, I'm keeping you on the phone in case it just happens to be another fake brother psycho-" Peyton's words stopped short after opening the door.

"-stalker" The blonde came face to face with none other than her confidante in the flesh.

"Brooke…" Peyton was just staring, her mouth slightly ajar, as the brunette shut her phone, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Happy Birthday, P. Sawyer." Brooke Davis stood there, in all her glory, a smile playing at her lips as dimples were revealed and as hazel eyes sparkled with something that Peyton had not seen in a long while. Hope.

With a speechless Peyton, the brunette decided to take initiative at the unstated question, "I've missed _you_, Peyton." Brooke whispered with a shrug of the shoulders, tears glistening in her eyes.

For the first time since leaving Tree Hill, Peyton Sawyer smiled and actually meant it.

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So..................I'm hoping reviews will appear in my email inbox haha. And please, if you havn't already, check out Brittany's page. Her stuff is amazing.

Please review and send us comments and/or ideas for this fic and maybe we'll take some of your suggestions...never say never ;)

- Rae


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